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Written by Jason, Doctor of Meta-Physics
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This article is written for my friend Jess, in honor of her friend Mark who past away this past week:
Death comes to everything, that is inevitable. Many people seem to fear death, not as many seem to fear how they will be remembered AFTER they die. Another day we can talk about that, today though, we talk about the grief that accompanies death.
I have a friend who just found out over the weekend she lost an old friend. We were talking and she almost sounded as if she felt bad because she hadn't cried. That's the first thing I want to address. While it's true that a lot of people DO in fact cry, not everyone does. It doesn't mean that you don't care if you don't cry. It could be that that is just not how you grieve. So if you've lost a friend please don't think that you NEED to cry, that just is NOT the case.
Some people grow contemplative. This can be very helpful, so long as you don't become paranoid. It Life is meant to be lived, and it would most likely be insulting to the memory of your friend or loved one to stop living your life. Instead, you may consider calling up an old friend, one you have maybe lost touch with. Think about how you are living your life, are you living a good life, one that people will celebrate when your time comes? If not why not? Then why not start living that life now?!?
Some people find comfort in their religious believes. Almost every major religion has some concept of an afterlife. That can be very comforting to many (including me and I know my friend can lean on that belief as well! I can personally attest to that being of some help when I had lost a sister and many friends) If you don't believe in an afterlife, and you know your friend did, maybe it would be worth looking into what they believed, who knows maybe you'll find it's for you too!
The thing I would say is most important and helpful though is this. Keep there memory alive and in some way you keep them alive! Weather you make a scrapbook, look at old photo's and videos. Collect things they loved....start a foundation to further you loved one's ideas. In doing this you will not only keep their memory alive, but you will help yourself come to terms with their death and allow yourself to heal from the loss.
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