Congratulations! After years of looking and thinking to yourself that finding Mr. or Ms. Right was like finding a needle in a haystack, you finally hit paydirt and found your soulmate. Now how to reel in the catch of your life? If you're looking for a happy relationship that will last a lifetime, slow down and proceed with caution. Some serious soul-searching is in order.

There's no secret formula, just plenty of work involved in keeping a happy, emotionally healthy relationship afloat. The best relationships are based on not just love but also trust and mutual respect. A good relationship requires the couple to have high self-esteem and a positive self-image.

Contrary to what some couples may think, moving in together does not necessarily bring a guarantee of marriage. Plenty of women have found out the hard way, much to their disappointment, that the man in the relationship had no intention of picking out a china pattern or saying "I do."  The man will respect a woman who has enough self-respect to hold out until marriage before hopping in the sack together.

For some reason some women, particularly those who have low self-esteem and think poorly of themselves, have a tendency to drift towards the wrong kind of guy. Repeatedly. You know the type, the abusive ones with alcohol or drug problems, the manipulative ones, the controlling ones, guys who have an anger management problem or who keep running afoul of the law. There are a million and one variations, but the ladies out there know instinctively which ones are the wrong types. They should run for their lives the other way. Unfortunately, they make the wrong decisions and shack up with the guy. Some suffer years of misery and abuse. Others don't last so long and wind up dead.

One of the best ways to avoid much of that nasty stuff is to start with, as mentioned before, high self-esteem. Women with high esteem seem to attract a better quality of gentlemen, and their chances of success in avoiding dating and relationship mistakes shoot way up. Likewise, men with high self-esteem will seem to exude some mysterious attraction that brings the ladies out of the woodwork.

One of the keys to a successful relationship is the ability to communicate - openly, honestly and nonjudgmentally - with the other person. Remember, all couples argue and have disagreements from time to time. That's okay, it's part of being human. What matters is how disagreements and conflicts are handled. Often, that's what separates the men from the boys (and the women from the girls.) A successful relationship takes plenty of work, but it's well worth the effort. It's amazing what can be accomplished by keeping the lines of communication open.

Compliment the other person on their strengths, accomplishments, and what they do well. That makes them feel good about themselves, and makes it easier to accept constructive criticism when discussing negative aspects of the relationship.

Do something nice for the other person for no apparent reason. It doesn't have to be big or expensive. Maybe make their favorite dish for dinner, or give them a back rub or foot massage after a hard day, or even just kiss the top of their head as you sail by doing laundry or go out the door to run errands.

Have fun together. Don't get so wrapped up in everyday problems that you forget to kick back and relax once in a while. Go bowling, go skating, have a picnic or a cookout, or watch a good movie together. Maybe even go to church together. That's something that can be overlooked, but is very important.

Don't try and change the other person - accept them the way they are. Some women make the mistake of thinking something like, "If he loves me, he'll change." Wrong. What you see is what you get, so if you see something you don't like in your partner's personality, be prepared to deal with it for the rest of your life if you want to seriously pursue the relationship. On the flip side, if you make the pleasant discovery while you're dating that this gal/guy has all the right stuff to make a wonderful life partner, great. It will only get better.

Remember, no one's perfect! Everybody makes mistakes. When your partner makes one, learn to forgive and let it go. They'll appreciate it and return the favor the next time you goof up.

If and when you finally do tie the knot, remember the rules you learned that made for a successful dating relationship and keep building on those rules. Learning the art of compromise is a great way for two people to coexist peacefully. Newly married couples who are still adjusting to the daily habits of the other will do well to keep that in mind. It can be a shock to learn about the other's money management habits, how they drop their dirty socks on the floor, their favorite TV shows or what hobbies they enjoy in their spare time. Sitting down for many a heart-to-heart discussion can help prevent misunderstandings and bring couples closer.

Over time as people change (and people do change over the years) remember that even though your marriage relationship changes, it doesn't have to change for the worse. When kids come into the picture, everything changes. Redefining your relationship as a couple can bring flexibility into the relationship, and something flexible is less likely to snap and break. Don't forget what attracted you to the other person in the first place. And remember those three magic words, "I love you," can go a long way in brightening someone's day.

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