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This article discusses some of the most common reasons that men lose interest shortly after they start dating a certain woman and what a woman can do to change that.
Many women have the frustrating experience of going out with a guy on
one or a few dates, thinking that things go well between the two of
them, and then having that guy suddently stop calling and disappear. It
is probably not a big deal when it happens with one or two guys, but
if that is your experience with men over and over, it is hard to not
take this personally and not start believing that there is something
about you that turns men off and makes those men lose interest
in you. While every dating situation and every interaction between
people is unique and different and thus the reasons behind the guy losing interest are
just as different, there are several common causes of that loss of
interest beyond the typical "no chemistry" situation and the very
common situation where the guy is simply not interested in dating one
woman and he is driven toward sexual novelty and varierty regardless of
who he meets today.
The following are the six top reason why guys lose interest and what you can do to eliminate those possibile causes of losing interest and thus increase your chances of retaining the guy's interest and desire to be with you for a longer time:
1. You are not attractive enough. It is a cruel fact but a very true
fact that if a woman is not physically attractive enough, there will
still be guys who will be willing to go out with her but that won't
usually last. While there is only so much we can do to improve our
looks and be more attractive, there is one major step that a woman can
take to become more attractive - losing weight. This is not to say that
the woman who doesn't have excess weight should lose weight and be
thinner - no, that's not the point. The very interesting fact is this:
if you are not overweight - if your body is reasonably lean and/or
tones, chances are that unless there is some disfigurement in your face
or body, you are probably attractive and sexually desirable for most
guys. If you are overweight, it is critically important that you start
losing weight and building a more attractive body. This will have all
kinds of positive consequences on your life - from health benefits,
having more energy, more confidence and of course - more attention from
men. In short, losing weight and having a more attractive gody will
change and improve every single moment of your life. There are simply
no reasons to wait and postpone achieving this goal any longer.
2. You talk too much. No matter how smart a person is, if he
dominates a conversation, he will boring and even tiring to the other
person. I and my friends met some incredibly beautiful women over the
course of our dating lives, but we simply couldn't stand being around
some of them because they simply wouldn't stop talking and wouldn't
shot up. While it's obvious when someone else talks a lot, it's not
nearly as noticeable when you have to evaluate your own convesational
habits. Thus, I encourage you to ask your friends whether they think
you talk too much or interrupt their conversation or otherwise dominate
your interaction. Encourage them to be honest and not tell you what you
want to hear, but instead - tell you how it is.
3. You are too uptight. This girls told me once on the phone that
she couldn't meet me because her car broke down, to which I replied:
"Well, that's what happens when you let women drive." Instead of
laughing at the comment as most women would, she got angry, thought I
was serious, hung up on me and later demanded an apology. Few things
are bigger turn-offs and are more unattractive than a woman
who can't take a joke and who says "Ahh, how dare you!" instead of
laughing at an inappropriate comment or a sexua innuendo and dishing
one of her own. Dark humor, sarcasm and sexual comments are a spice
life and love life for every interesting, ambitious guys. If you are
interesting in dating and having a relationship with one, you should
consider stopping to take yourself too seriously, open your mind and
enjoy dark humor, rather than being intimidated by it or judge it.
4. You are boring. If you don't have much to say, thoughts to share and
ways to respond with to what the guy says, thinks and believes in, you
are not going to catch a great guy's interst for very long. Boring
dates feel like a torture, and no one is interested in going into one
or sticking around when they realize that they have to push the
conversation to simply fill the time. Surely there is no shortcut to
become a more interesting person, but there is a great, long-term
solution - you started learning more things about yourself, about your
environment and the world. TV, magazines, books, meeting new people,
watching shoes, and engaging in social events will give you much more
material to think about and form your views on. Surely, there is a lot
of junk out there on TV and in magazines, but there is also lots of
good material, and it is your duty to choose and "filter" the bad stuff
out. As you become a more interesting woman, this will go far beyond
improving your dating life and will make you much more attractive and
interesting to your friends, and co-workers, and will likely create new
social and professional opportunities for you that you didn't even
think existed and were available to you.
5. You are excessively independent/feminist. For many women it's a
life crusade showing and proving to guys and to themselves that they
can be all a man can and more in every way. I fully support equality
and full opportunities for women. However, when it comes at the account
of feminity and elegance - women pay a high price of becoming very
unattractive to the opposite sex. It's a fundamental law of nature that
masculine, confident, attractive men are attracted to the opposite -
feminine women - women who possess a feminine voice, walk, and manners.
Don't take me wrong. I would never suggest that a woman should stay
home and cook and clean. This is not what it is about. A woman can be
very educated and successful and still retain her femininity and be
proud of being a woman. Stop hiding the fact that you are different
from guys. You are and it's good news - good for you and for men. There
is a saying "Bitches get corner office." I seriously doubt it. Part ot
being professional and romantically successful has alweays been being a
lady, and being a lady and a "bitch" are mutually exclusive.
6. You are a victim of your past - many women have a bad relationship
with a guy who is controlling and possessive at least once in their
lives. Breaking up with such a guy feels like a very liberating
experience - like putting more air in your lungs, like untieing your
wings, if you will. A woman who undergoes such a bad relationship in
which she submitted to the guy's control and possessiveness, jumps into
another extreme with the other guys that she meets later. She makes it
a point to show to every guy she meets that she is not going to "obey"
him and do what she wants. She will do the opposite from what the guys
asks or suggests just for the sake of showing that no one can tell her
what to do, and that she decides what she does for herself. This is
unfortunate because it creates unnecessary problems and challenges in
communication. If you believe that you create such challenges in your
interaction with men, you should do your best to not let your past
negative experience with a jealous guy affect your present and future
interactions with men.
It is impossible to fully protect yourself from dating a guy who will lose interest
in you at any point. However, by paying attention to the above six
possible issues that you might be having in your interactions with
guys, you will dramatically improve the chances of keeping any guy's
interest and coming across as a more attractive and desirable woman.
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