Many guys face this emotional challenge early on in their dating lives before they had any sexual experience with women and when they are still virgins. They start going out with a girl, they start liking her and develop feelings for her and then - they find out that the girl is not as "innocent" as they are - she is not a virgin.

In that situation, a typical guy who doesn't have any sexual experience and who is still a virgin find it difficult to get used to the idea that the girl is not as "pure," "clean" and innocent as he is. It bothers him and he often can't help but be upset at it. He realize that he can't blame the girl for anything and that she really didn't do anything wrong by simply having had greater dating experience and possibly relationships in the past, but it still bothers him. He starts "interrogating" the girl, asking her all kinds of invasive questions about her past sex life out of overwhelming curiousity, but this only makes things worse and makes him even angrier and more frustrated - primarily with himself and his inability to conquer his feelings toward the girl's sexual past and the fact that she is not a virgin like he is.

So, what are the reasons for this frustration? First, a guy who is a virgin might feel that it's somewhat unfair that he is "clean" but the girl is not. He might believe that he is giving more than he is receiving when he is a virgin but the girl has already been "used." Secondly and more importantly, the guy will feel jealous of the fact that the girl who he likes so much has had an intimate experience with another guy, shared some very special times with someone before she met him and that for her it wouldn't be as special being with him now as it is for her now.

This emotional challenge is important to overcome for any guy in that situation, so that he can enjoy his interacting with the girl who he likes so much and so that he can have a healthier emotional state while avoiding unnecessary conflicts with the girl.

If you are a guy who faces the above challenges, I would like to suggest to you two very effective things that you can do to overcome this problem:

1. Put a positive spin on the girl's sexual experience. Why? Because it is mostly positive. Her experience will help both of you during the first time that you have sex. She might teach you a few things that you wouldn't have learned from a girl who has never been with the guy before. And be assured that it doesn't help doing it for the first time with a girl who, like you, doesn't know what she is doing. It will only make you even more nervous than you will already be and will make it all the harder and more awkward to have sex and enjoy it.

2. More importantly, it's very important that you stop idiolizing your relationship with this girl. You must stop seek perfection from every aspect of your dating situation. Guess what, sooner or later you will realize that just like any other relationship, this dating situation is not perfect. You will have arguments, fights and other problems. You will likely break up and there will be many other women in your life after that girl, who was your first sexual partner. So stop worrying or expecting her to be as pure and untouched as you are. It doesn't really matter. She is not your belonging. You don't own her, you cannot and you should not control her. Leave the past in the past and move on. Focus on the present, perceive your interacting and your initial sexual experience with her as valuable lessons and an introduction to your dating life, and this mindset will serve you well.

And also remember - the only reason you are still a virgin and she is not is because you haven't met anyone with whom you wanted and could have had sex with. It's a pure matter of timing - she just happened to meet someone she liked and was attracted to earlier than you did, so who can blame her fo

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