|
Diary of a (soon to be) ex-Smoker: So ends my love affair..so do I say good bye to a very old friend...and it isn't without regret...
Oh Dear cigarette, I look at you with the greatest love imaginable. But like all bad relationships, this one must now come to an end.
As an academic writer I was asked to write about the effects of smoking on young adults and sifting through the mounds of undeniable data, I was brought to the shuddering conclusion that I could no longer defend the habit. So I look upon the shiny, seductive packet on my lap with the love-sick knowledge that I must say farewell to this comfort in life.
I began the love-hate affair about 8 years ago and am now saying goodbye to it for approximately the 30th time in those 8 years. I can't say it was a symbiotic relationship, I'm pretty sure Mr. Cigarette can do without my passionate kiss, but I needed him. I was brought to the unfortunate conclusion that there was nothing I could do to protect him anymore, so my monologue with this long-time friend begins:
"My dearest, oldest friend, you have been with me through many a hard time. You saw me through heartache, grief, stress...you were always there to ease my pain and you never told me to ‘shut up and get over it'. Thank you for your consistency. But I can no longer defend your iniquitous assaults on my body, your insidious manipulation of all my problems...the way you use my troubles to bring yourself closer to me. I can no longer deny the way you take from me without giving back and not to mention the way you bankrupt me. I must say goodbye now, knowing that you will stalk me and attempt to grind me down as you have done so many times. This time I must find a new friend, a friend that will heal me and not break me down. Through it all you convinced me I needed you. Every time I packed you up and sent you away...you nagged at me from a distance and I took you back, hoping you had changed...but you hadn't. I thank you for being there when I was all alone, when I had no one else to turn to, but now I think I will be okay. It's hard to let go...to my oldest friend...but you'll find someone else to feed off of...of that I am certain. Farewell my friend...I'm sure I will never forget you."
Yes, i will attempt once again to let go of this destructive love affair that has robbed me of so much while convincing me it had given me life. As i say, it isn't the first time, but i hope it will be the last. At any rate...I will keep you posted...
|
