We were understandably excited, even overwhelmed, when we moved to Guanajuato on August 1, 2003. We explored the city until we felt we would drop. We ate at all the cool restaurants until we thought we'd go broke. Finally, when we settled down, we set about living our lives like ordinary Guanajuatenses. We shopped where Mexicans shopped and we lived where Mexicans lived.

Mexico; that is, traditional, provincial Mexico, has neighborhood stores all over the city and sometimes several in a single block. I don't understand how they are able to eek out a living doing it this way, but they do. There will often be two or three stores right next to one another. Three places in a row will offer the same items, at the same prices, and somehow they all manage to stay in business. Their stores always seem to be full and thriving. It amazed me then, when we first arrived here, and still astounds me some four years later.

One day during our first month in town and while we were living in a small Guanajuato barrio called Puquero, my wife came home from one of the little neighborhood stores, which was manned by the sweetest little Mexican woman. My wife loved going into her store, rather than someone else's, because this lady was not only kind as can be, but she also took the time to answer my wife's many questions. In addition, she was tenderly patient with my wife's burgeoning Spanish.

What my wife described to me one day, was that these women acted like a bunch of primitive, medieval Arab women at a bazaar or trying to buy something at an auction. They shouted, flailed their hands in the air, and all of them, more or less, acted like they didn't see my wife standing right there. They demanded that the clerk stop waiting on the gringa and wait on them. It w as as though they were terrified my wife would buy all the food in the place and leave them with the dregs.

I had yet to see this display. The first time I saw it, I think I must have stood there with my mouth agog, eyeballs bulging out of my head, and for some minutes completely speechless. I mean; it is something to see. Not only do they do this at the small Mom-and-Pop stores scattered all around the city, up and down the snaking callejóns, but they do this Mexican-Women-Wilderness-Action Play at the drug stores, the supermarkets, the movie rental places, the ice cream parlors, or anywhere where queuing or standing in a line might be required. To image this, just remember the last movie you saw that depicted a market scene during the Middle Ages. The proprietor of a tent, out of which he sells chickens, begins taking orders. All the women begin screaming all at once and flapping their arms and hands in the air in fear that someone might get all the chicken and they will get left out.

Anywhere there is a counter behind which are all the goods you want to buy and an employee waiting to help you, you will see this pandemonium break out. The customers do not line up. There is no sense whatsoever of "taking one's turn," or queuing up in a line and waiting patiently while the person in front of you gets waited on.

In a modern supermarket, and tragically, we now have two of them; you only really see this riot break out at the meat department where you have to give your order to the clerks. Otherwise, it's every Mad-Mexican-Momma for herself in the fruit and vegetable department where they can calmly pick their own produce from a nicely stacked display.

In the four years we've lived here, we have seen so many variations of the main "When Mexican Women Attack" performance. Some women will actually shove you out of the way. If you turn to talk to someone, and do not staunchly defend your place at the counter, when you turn back, there could be a little horde that has taken over your spot. It is though someone in the transporter room of the Enterprise just beamed them down. My wife, my poor wife, has been shoved, pulled, punched in the ribs, yanked, bowled over, shouted down, all so someone can get a kilo of hotdogs before her.

Here's a tip: you've got to be ready to do battle in this town to get on the bus or in a taxi. This sort of nonsense seems to go on elsewhere, Paris and in some cities in Italy, so you have to be ready to open that cab door and dive head first into the back seat before some Mexican assumes you hailed the cab for them.

So, why do Mexicans fail to queue?

We went to where the first event we witnessed took place and asked my wife's store-clerk friend. She immediately, without hesitation, without having to take the time to even think about it, told us these women were Malcriadas—badly raised.

My wife's Mexican friend's spin is what I am offering here. I am not giving you my take. It is the Mexican viewpoint of this behavior.

At first, we thought it was the fact that my wife was gringa and perhaps this was some sort of anti-gringo thing in action. But, eventually we saw them behaving in this strange manner with one another. So, it was not a we-hate-the-gringos behavior.

What makes this even more confusing is that in banks, supermarket checkout lines, government offices, they seem to queue nicely. You do not see this madhouse free-for-all mayhem at these other places. Patience seems to rule there but most certainly not in places where they are trying to buy their meat or in the small neighborhood grocery stores.

And, the following will cause your brain to go into full tilt mode. We are now seeing the clerks behind the meat and small store counters telling these pushy women that they are going to have to wait their turn. I saw this once in one of the supermarkets. You cannot carry in purses, bags, or anything else in which something can be hidden. You have to "check" your belongings at what looks like an old coat check room that we no longer see in the States.

Well, it was crowded that day and this campesino (country woman) saw a place open at the counter and darted between the lines of folks who were both checking and picking up their purses and what have you. The clerk told the erring woman that she would have to get in line and wait her turn.

You would have thought this country woman had been slapped in the face. She acted as though this was a foreign and alien concept (and it was!!). I mean, after all, there was space between the people who had queued in the line so why should she have to go back and stand in a line and patiently wait her turn? The clerk, bless her, ignored the women and waited instead on those who had queued in line.

We've been able to ferret out three major explanations for the behavior. Because we have the linguistic skill to ask, we first consulted Mexicans themselves and asked why this behavior exists. Then, we've been researching culture issues in some works by American Culture Analysts who specialize in Mexican-American culture exchanges.

The first theory that I've already mentioned is that those who engage this behavior are badly raised (malcriados) or badly educated (maleducativo). We've heard this one a lot from Mexicans who are from different parts of Mexico. Non-Guanajuato Mexicans are the ones who have come up with this explanation for this riotous free-for-all at certain events like buying some meat or boarding a bus. Why this is so is anyone's guess. It is one explanation and one only. I do not accept this as the only reason, however. Though I suppose it could be the case in some, I do not believe it is the case in all of the situations in which we see people act this way.

What a Mexican is saying when he calls someone badly educated or maleducativo is that they have not been taught manners and that they are rude. It is on the level an American would mean of someone when he calls him or her a rube or a red neck. But, the fact that the majority of the Mexicans who approach a meat counter, for example, do this frenetic screeching and pushing to the front, tells me that it just might not be a case of being badly raised. Another interesting thing to note is that the more refined ladies, the upper class, don't seem to act this way. They would, of course, never lower themselves to walking into a store, much less scream like a mimi for a kilo of pork—they send their maids to do their screaming for them.

The second theory goes something like this:

"The third thing I would mention is the practice in stores here of always serving the last customer to arrive. For example, I walk into a stationery store and I ask the girl for a ream of paper. As she turns to go get it, someone else walks in the door. “What do you need?” she asks, and goes to find what he has asked for. Then a third person walks in, ignoring all the other customers, and asks for a box of pencils, which she produces immediately and collects the money. I guess the idea is to get all the people who walk in the door involved in a transaction so that they can’t leave until it’s finished, and in that way, not lose any business. But it’s the opposite of how it works in all the countries I have ever lived in. Out of irritation, sometimes I call out, “Excuse me, I was here first!” and the shop attendant usually takes care of me immediately, especially if I am a regular customer."

I first heard this theory from a fellow who contributed to our first book but have never been able to confirm it with anyone else. While it makes sense to a certain degree, the part about, "… ignoring all the other customers…" bothers me. I want to know if that means they actually see there are other customers there or that they don't? And, why exactly would they want to ignore all the other customers, gringo and Mexican alike, and demand they be waited on first when a host of others were there before them? If the motive was that they wanted to be served first, even though a number of people were there before them, then would that not mean that Mexicans in general, I am here telling you the majority of the good people of Guanajuato do this, are nothing but a bunch of selfish ninnies? Children?

So, it is the third theory that I find the most credible and just perhaps this is the answer my wife and I searched for all these years. I have to add that maybe theories #1 and #2 do in some sense explain this behavior, but this last theory seemed to me to be more "logical" than the first two and it takes a little explaining to understand. It has everything to do with a clash of cultures. It is what makes Mexicans who they are and it shows when they are looking for some pork chops for their family's dinner.

What I think is the dynamic involved here is the Mexican's orientation toward Space, Time and how these work together to form a work ethic producing a behavior that is group based.

We Americans see everything as Me and I. We are so individualistically oriented that we tend to fall apart, foaming at the mouth, when our individuality isn't recognized. When we are asked, "Do the needs of the one outweigh the needs of the many," we shout without any hesitation and with a loud and resoundingly boisterous YES! Mexicans would never say that. We Americans draw a circle around ourselves of about three feet and expect this to not only be respected but will defend this space, sometimes with violence. It is American's obsession with this sense of orientation of a narrow and confining space that earns us the reputation of being cold and insensitive to the rest of the world.

Mexicans draw a circle around The Group. They are, as is the case with most of the rest of the non-Anglo-Saxon world, group oriented in almost every aspect of their lives. While Americans are more comfortable with the Me…Me…Me mentality, the Mexicans are more comfortable with the Us…Us…Us orientation. Americans are more at ease with lots and lots of personal space. We will resist and even abhor crowding. Mexicans love crowds because crowds constitute a group and it is in groups that Mexicans thrive.

This is, by the way, one of the reasons social scientists point to as the reason why America leads the world in mental illness and why Mexico has one of the lowest rates of mental disorders. Americans, in their pursuit of individuality, tend to suffer more from mental illness than the Mexicans who not only seek the group orientation in life but also have instant and immediate support groups in place to help individuals within the group keep from having nervous breakdowns. Americans could learn a great deal from this approach of a so-called Third World Nation. Mexicans act as a group thus looking inward to the group for the help and support they need to keep from losing their minds—survival.

The Mexican sense of Time is the second dynamic that comes into play in the Queuing Crisis in this country. Whereas we Americans see time as an arrow shot from the bow at the starting line of the beginning of the day with us having to run to try and catch up with that arrow, Mexicans do not. They see and perceive time almost as a gift. If a Mexican takes three hours with you in a meeting to accomplish something you, the anal American, could have done in 20 minutes, the Mexican perceives he has given himself freely to you—a gift. Time is something to be used and not something that drives us to the brink of losing our American anal-retentive minds.

Mexican Time is not something in which events occur in a sequential order. To the Mexican, time is something that flows freely, without restrictions, and sometimes that flow is slow and plodding and sometimes it is fast and frenetic. It is a circle and not an arrow. Mexicans sincerely do not comprehend our getting all bent out of shape when they NEVER show up on time for an appointment. They simply don't.

What is happening in the problem I have described in this essay is that there is a counter. On one side of the counter is the Group of Servers. Their mission is to make sure you get your meat, or whatever, when you give them your order. One the other side of the counter is the Group of Customers. Their mission is to buy a nice beefy chuck roast to cook up for Sunday Cena where the extended family is coming for a Mexican hoedown. The Group of Servers does not "see" individual customers in the Group of Customers. They just see the group. The same goes for the customers…they just see the Group of Servers and not individual servers. This is the group orientation in which Mexicans thrive in their society.

Because to the Mexican mind, time is something circular flowing in the same direction, and because time will get to its finish line sooner or later, the Group of Servers see themselves serving not individuals but the Group of Customers. The Group of Servers see themselves helping the Group of Customers and not just individuals. It is one group helping the other group. The Group of Customers is being helped all at the same time and not in a logically sequential order. In other words, when the little old Mexican woman pushes up to the front, and you've already given your order to one of the clerks within the Group of Servers, you are not seen as having arrived first and the old woman is not seen as the last to arrive. You are both part of the Group of Customers. It, therefore, does not matter if the clerk suddenly stops helping you and helps the old woman whose request might require a quick response, after which the clerk resumes helping you.

You are all part of the group and will get waited on eventually, thus assuring success for both groups.

The little old woman who just came into the place might be pushing her way up to the front of the group so as to make sure the Group of Servers now knows she is part of the Group of Customers. All she is doing is trying to enlist in the Group of Customers and this is how she does it.

Even if the clerk of the Group of Servers stops to help the little old lady, it could be that in the mind of the clerk, the old woman's smaller order could be filled much fast than your larger one and the faster he fills it, the quicker he would be able to get back to you. I have seen, however, that when this happens, the old woman does not harangue but once she shouts her order over you, "the enlistment" in the Group of Customers, then she waits patiently until the clerk can get back to her. I have never seen any acting out in this situation on the part of the Mexican. I have seen, however, Americans having a meltdown over these events.

And, just why do we Americans suffer an emotional explosion over this? Why do we want to act out over having to wait a few extra seconds for our hot dogs? What is at work here?

It is a breakdown or violation of our American-bred orientation of Space and Time. We waited to be served. We stood in line. We have been waiting here a long time. These Mexicans should be in a line and be waited on in sequence. Where is the damned order? The old woman invaded my space.

Our understanding as Americans is that our little space should be respected and defended at all costs. Since we waited our turn, all of the clerks should wait on us hand and foot and only pay attention to me. It is the "me" mentality. It is the "I" orientation. It is our culture screaming through the rooftop loud and clear that we are not interested in being part of a group.

The Mexican Group of Servers is helping the individuals in the Group of Customers all at the same time. In helping the group, everyone gets served, eventually. They are offering excellent Mexican-style customer service. The Group of Servers helps the Group of Customers. Everyone gets her meat and the servers are now ready to help the next group—the Mexican Way!

The anxiety of the American comes when they do not feel their sense of space and time is respected.

"I've been standing here for 20 minutes (American time orientation) and now I want to be waited on and don't anyone think of usurping my place at the counter (American space orientation)."

They want sequence. They want people in lines. They want their perception of logical order to reign. They want to be the center of attention when their turn comes. They are, well, we are, a selfish lot. And this comes across loud and clear to the Mexicans all too often with American tourists and expats. When the American comes along in the form of a visitor or expat and tries to destroy the Group Orientation of the Mexican with their sense of Rugged American Individualism, then all cultural hell breaks loose.

So what if you were in line before the toothless old Mexican woman who looks like she will have to have help in chewing the pork chop she's about to buy! Lighten up. Play it the way Mexicans play it. Your life will not come to an end just because you have to wait another minute or two to get your silly hot dogs.

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Copyright (C) 2007 Alain Georgette / Copyright (C) 2006 Frantisek Hliva. All rights reserved.