Some of you already know this -- others are still scratching their heads as to why that promised interview was bumped, the check was in the mail but was over-looked, the package you sent for arrived yesterday and you just noticed it, as well as all the hype on Obama during this Mercury Retro phase might be recounted and renovated by the time the actual election kicks in. Sorry, but retrogrades are like that -- we tend to get hyped about something when it's retro and find out what's missing from the picture afterwards, only to do everything or retrace the project all over again. Avoid diagnosing problems until after 2/18 when you'll get more information that will make the pieces of the puzzle fit together more practically.  Best decision until February 18 is to hold off if possible on any major commitments...because the tables will turn and for those Mercury ruled signs (Virgo and Gemini) you can hope they'll be more to your favor.

Here's some more treats with Mercury Retrograde:

1. You've got an appointment --- Wait a minute -- No you don't.
2. Today's Saturday, no it's not
3. There was no period at the end of that last sentence.
4. You really don't know what day it is.
5. What? The kids have another day off from school? How are you ever going to conform to this juggling act of a schedule...just when you got your motor running -- you now find everyone else wants you to drop the ball and have fun today.
6. You seriously thought...this was the day you were going to actually roll up your sleeves and get to work -- but you now find you're reading articles about Mercury Retrogrades and suddenly it makes sense why you're not getting anything else done but analysis. 
7. Why doesn't my fonts on this blog work right????
8. scratch that
9. Why does 'doesn't' sound right when 'does' was "is" better?
10. Tomorrow you'll write the letter -- No you won't.
11. The contract is paid in full -- No it's not.
12. What Writer's Strike? Was it really resolved -- you can't even tell the difference! Leno's jokes are still dying....why is Larry The Cable Guy on for the 5th consecutive night?
13. Letterman's Top 10 'aren't '.
14. Late Night TV sucks -- You go to bed early -- only to have a deeply profound dream and wake up feeling so refreshed you'd think you were asleep 8 hours. You have a sudden urge to urinate....this prompts you to get up --- the clock says you've only been asleep 40 minutes.  You now toss and turn to get back to sleep.
15.  You still wake up too early.  Your  waking day is exhausting and turned upside down as a result. Think about it -- it could be worse -- (such as) you might not of awakened at all. 
16. You dwell on things that happened the last time Mercury went Retro....like I'm doing now...and the list gets longer...
17. You read directions but miss the main ingredients -- that would be "yeast".
18. Your checking account has $$$ in it....--- No it doesn't.
19.  You've got the job! No you don't.
20. No one --- Not even your best friend is returning your calls --- Meanwhile you've really got to pay that phone bill.
21. The computer is running slower -- Slower than usual.
22. Somebody made a promise -- It's broken, but maybe they'll get back with you in JULY!
23. Where did the week and time go?
24. You asked a question -- Got several answers, but not one of them pertains to the question you asked.
25. You fixed the car -- You thought -- Now it doesn't start...The problem is 'they say' it's here -- but it's really 'somewhere else'.
26. You find out -- it wasn't broke after all.
27. Your trip has been canceled...your flight delayed...your hotel reservation is screwed up...you've been charged for more than you bought...there's no price tag on the items.
28. Your printer is jammed.
29. Everything you're typing is a pain to adjust -- (such as) the fonts keep lining up like the fonts on this page.
30. Your thinking's not clear. Maybe those thoughts belong to someone else.(You think?)
31. The old car still isn't fixed, the new car doesn't start, and you bought it "as is".
32. There's all sorts of distractions blocking your plans....still you struggle with that one little detail that's taking an entire morning to fix, which should have been fixed in 10 minutes.
33. You bought something you thought you needed -- but instead -- didn't need it at all, because what you bought it for, doesn't work anymore either, or so you find out when you get the product home. You take it back, you wait in a long line of people returning their items because they happened to have the same problem...It's lunch-time, you want to get back to work ---- there's 10 messages and 24 emails from people trying to contact to -- Now that you got the message --- you can't get ahold of anyone....Afterwards, it's break-time, and everyone has left early for the day because the weather was so nice and their printers were jammed, their computers were slow or down, their boss is on vacation, they forgot to get back with you....you waited...you waited...and now it's dinner time..
34. Someone left their change at the checkout-- You debate -- hmmm...Should I let the store know? Should I take it myself? If I give it to the store will they actually do the honest deed? What if the owner doesn't return, that means the guy behind me get's the cash, or the store clerk just eyeing it for the end of her shift -- It's your lucky day --  It's your lucky day -- Take the money and run. Cash is cash - without a name on it -- Finders...Keepers.  Think of it as a gift from above and don't look the gift-horse in the face...be thankful at least someone thought of you.
35. MacCarthur Park hums in the back of your mind --- "Someone left the cake out in the rain -- You don't think that you can take it, cause it took so long to bake it, and you'll never have the recipe again...Oh No...Oh No...."
36. Trust me -- if it took that long to bake it, it wasn't that great of a recipe anyway....ponder an easier solution to your problems...think less, do less to aggravate yourself.  Buy a cake that has easier directions.
37. Your 'grammer' sucks.
38. You're thinking about taking the road less traveled --- a short cut -- which turns out to have many twists and turns, and by July you'll be back on that old route before you know it. Think about it, but wait before traveling it at least until the 2nd week of July.
    It's the end of the week --- guess what --- You're still trying to take care of what you meant to take care of in the beginning of the week --- on Monday.
39. Nobody, not even your best friends gets your jokes --- It's as if everyone else moved to another planet and you showed up late forgetting the house rules.
40. You say --- "* em" if they can't take a joke.
41. People accuse you of saying things you didn't say --- under the most absurd circumstances like Jane Fonda was accused of saying a Vagina alternative on national TV . NBC announced she said something that everyone missed, but they deleted from their telecast and web-cast only to make people wonder what the hell she said anyways that could be anymore controversial than "Vagina" Monologues?
42. I'm accused for writing "Vagina" in my blog.
43. You skipped everything in this blog only to scan to the word "VAGINA". GET A LIFE!You're sick.  Please don't take that out of context either --- it's a joke -- really.
44. How will this affect you? Call me on my ether.
    1-888-my-ether ext. 02263824

Mercury Retrograde Frustrations

Some of you already know this -- others are still scratching their heads as to why that promised interview was bumped, the check was in the mail but was over-looked, the package you sent for arrived yesterday and you just noticed it, as well as all the hype on Obama during this Mercury Retro phase might be recounted and renovated by the time the actual election kicks in. Sorry, but retrogrades are like that -- we tend to get hyped about something when it's retro and find out what's missing ...

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