When I was about 10, I got my Dogma. We’ll dub him Rufus. Rufus was a little squirt, no more than a couple pounds. He served his purpose for many years. You see, my parents always made me do something to keep myself busy and out of trouble. I tried out sports, played some music (which scared my mother nearly to death at first), a little acting, but in spite of all my ventures, I always turned back to Rufus.

I guess I neglected him a bit in those early years. I didn’t feed him much and rarely played with him, didn’t see the point. It’s a wonder he survived in retrospect, although it does explain why he stayed so insignificant for so long. The neglect would only get worse. When I was about 16 I got my first Karma: locked Rufus up for good, or so I thought.

Man that Karma was fast. It was a vette; an, 81 actually. I’m not dating myself. That sucker was old and I drove it into the ground just like I did all my cars. The paint was scratched and faded. The fiberglass quarter panel was split and had nearly fallen off if not for one bent screw—no thanks to my ridin’ the side rails on the freeway oh too oft.

Well, just a few times, a few too many times, I knocked up my vette pretty good so it was off to the shop. Depressing really so what do you do? I decide to let Rufus out to play a bit. Oh but not for too long. I start feeling better and the vette comes out of the shop, so it’s back on the road for me.

Until One day; until one big crash; where your very life appears to hang in the balance (Sounds clique, but know what I mean?)

So many questions.

How will I survive?

How will I make the mortgage?

Who will get the kid?

Who will hate who more in 10 or so years?

I break out Rufus. Just one last time…maybe. It seems I underestimated my Dogma. I guess I hadn’t noticed but, he’d gradually gotten bigger. Every time I broke him out and fed him a little I guess. We played stick for a long time. I didn’t even realize that what seamed trivial, is what I was missing.

Rufus got big and we became so much more connected than ever before. Soon the questions seemed to diminish, fade into discontent. Not so important really. In fact, somehow, they weren’t even really questions anymore; just memories or are they dreams? How very fantastic. I suppose there is still so much more to understand.

My wife likes to play with Rufas too. I hope my daughter will learn to love him...and the child I have on the way.

These days, I don’t drive much. I have moments of debility as we all do, but that’s life.